Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I’ve been a bad blogger. (Updated)

WARNING: Some TMI stuff to follow.

Sorry I’ve been MIA. I have plenty to say, although nothing is really going on during this 2WW for the ultrasound. Just having trouble putting the thoughts together into some posts. So this may be a bit disjointed.

State of the pregnancy.

Still no nausea. (Unless I overeat, which happens sometimes because I get SOOO hungry and wolf stuff down faster than my brain can register.) Occasional crampiness, but it could be constipation, which is a chronic issue for me. (Thank you, stool softener!) Had a teensy bit of spotting Sunday night and Monday morning. Really, calling it spotting is kind of stretching it. It was just a tiny bit of pale brown. Nothing since then. My boobs are ginormous! I’m spilling out of my DDDs. I think I’ve gone up a cup size already. I’m really, really sick of PIO. I think I might have hit a nerve last night. It was hurting all night. (I roll over a lot.) The anxiety while I wait for the ultrasound next Monday is the hardest part. I was going to move it forward to this Friday, but then remembered I am at an all day workshop on Friday. So, NYC peeps, wanna help distract me this weekend? Looks like a perfect weekend to hang in Central Park with some ice cream. (Calcium for the baby!)

Assvice! I think some people are in for some snark.

It’s begun. I knew it was coming, but I wasn’t ready for it. My bad, I told someone at work who I shouldn’t have. The IT guy who I joke around with a lot and has 3 kids (one of whom came to work with him recently and became my instant bud). He overheard me talking to someone, so I told him. Of course, telling him to keep it on the lowdown. Now he’s giving me assvice at every opportunity. He saw me with my Starbux cup yesterday and had to tell me it was bad for me. Now, I have a full post percolating about the myths about caffeine and pregnancy, but I’ll just give you a little preview.

READ THE RESEARCH, PEOPLE!!! There is not a single study that shows any negative effects during pregnancy under 300 mg a day. THAT’S THREE CUPS! Still, most drs recommend limiting it to one cup a day during pregnancy, which is what I have. (*Update* apparently there is one study that shows "an increased risk of fetal growth restriction" with moderate caffeine consumption. This study is linked in the comments of this post. I should have known this would be a controversial thing to post, but this is NOT controversial among REs and OBs. Personally, the way I can pack away food, I'm more concerned about a too large baby than a too small one. Also, most women concerned about caffeine during pregnancy are concerned about the miscarriage risk, which even this study says is not an issue under 300 mg.) There are also now numerous studies that show lots of health benefits from moderate caffeine consumption. My order at Starbux is a tall skim “misto,” their term for a café au lait. Which means my cup is half filled with steamed milk. The thought of getting through my workday with first trimester fatigue without my misto is not good. If you find it comforting to completely abstain from caffeine during your pregnancy, you'll get no judgement from me. But don't judge my perfectly safe one cup a day!

Trying to think of the best comeback when I next get assvice from this guy. At the moment, I’m thinking of just saying, “Unsolicited advice to a hormonal woman? Not a good idea.” Any other suggestions?

Informal poll here. Please respond in the comments. Did you get morning sickness? If so, what week did it start?

37 comments:

Amanda said...

Hmmm... I'm don't want to be a no caffeine witch, but I have seen one VERY recent paper that disagrees with you. You can decided for yourself. http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/337/nov03_2/a2332?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=konje&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT

Heather and Jase said...

Pft have you one cup a day, jeeze!

I never threw up but I was queasy all day every day starting at about week 7 or 8.

In that study they did not count soda as caffine intake. So the mother might have had 1 cup of coffee or tea but 4 sodas making it look like less that 300mg had a negative effect.

Andrea said...

People giving unsoliticied advice is just wrong. Do you go around telling peple to have there tubes tied because they shouldn't be parents? I think not. Good luck on Monday!!!!!

I Believe in Miracles said...

I don't think the MS starting until 9 or 10 weeks for me. It was very slow and not consistent. The worst was at 14 for a couple days and then it all but stopped until 19-20 weeks. Nothing really bad (i.e. gagging up spit vs. actual throwing up) since then.

Hope that helps! Glad you're doing well. I hear you on waiting to stop PIO. HUGE.

musicmakermomma said...

I am with you on the caffeine, although I did one cup decaf (each day) which still has caffeine...and got grief for that! Whatever. I think unless you have an extremely low tolerance it isn't a big deal. Baby needs to get used to it!

I had TONS of morning sickness and there wasn't even a viable emby in there - so who knows? Lots of people don't have any, here's hoping that is you. Hope you have a busy distracting weekend.

Dora said...

Amanda, from the conclusion of that study:
"Sensible advice would be to reduce caffeine intake before conception and throughout pregnancy."

WHICH I HAVE! If it makes you feel better to completely abstain, by all means. Anecdotaly, the doctors I know who've been pregnant tell me they did not give up coffee during their pregnancies. My RN sister drank a cup every day of her pregancy. My niece weighed nine pounds! Wonder how big she'd have been without the caffeine.

gwinne said...

My RE told me at my last appointment to "go get a coffee" because the wait for an ultrasound would be a while. Now, she might have been using "coffee" as a metaphor, but I don't think so :)

I was nauseous from maybe 5.5 weeks on both times I was pregnant. Stopped after my D&C for the nonviable pg, and stopped early second trimester for the successful pg. My OB told me it would be better as soon as I stopped taking progesterone supplements, FWIW. It wasn't bad, but I needed to eat ALL DAY to keep it at bay.

J said...

Just the last few days have been the worst for "Morning" sickness. It's really all day. and as long as I am eating all the time, I am ok.

Cassandra said...

Assvice: I'd go all cerebral on his ass. "Oh really? What scientific studies have you been reading? I just read two in the New England Journal of Medicine that said..."

Of course, I purposely talk football to my IT guy to get away from all other topics on which he has plentiful opinions that would drive me batty.

Nausea: Remember that some women never get it! My first hint of nausea with this pg was at 4.5 weeks, in a hammock in Spain. One day the hammock was fine, the next it was not at all fine. Hammock aside, not much until 5th week. It was bad by 6th week. But maybe you'll get "lucky"!

Maybe we need to go bra shopping when I come to NYC. "Hi, we're both DDDs who now need to move up to DDDD!"

Aunt Becky said...

I got sick around week 6 with my last two but with my Ben? Not even a little bit. Never was even queasy.

And the unsolicited assvice doesn't stop. Ever. Sorry, man.

Anonymous said...

9 weeks for the first preg (girl) 5 weeks for this preg (unknown). All went away at 12 weeks. My MIL delights in watching my every move and making nasty comments about how my behavior will effect the baby...it drives me to distraction. I can't get a coffee or take a paracetamol if I get a headache in her house. Recently when I took a sip of my husbands wine to taste she announced "there goes another brain cell!" I just grin and bear it and enjoy being treated like an adult in my own parents house. In regards to the MS the hunger always came first for me and then it developed into a gotta eat or will feel very sick. So glad everything is going well. Alice

Michelle said...

I have always been told if it was a little you are ok. I think it is fine and you are a big girl and should be able to decide for yourself. I say go for it!

IVF 40+ said...

how on earth did we manage to have babies before all this advice. I lived in Paris where a glass of red wine is recommended during pregnancy, Japan where sushi is recommended during pregnancy and Poland where shot of vodka was recommended to my friend for morning sickness.

I would freak annoying people out by drinking water from a huge vodka bottle. ;-)

Kristin said...

Honey...drink away. I never gave up my caffeine and I had 3 large babies. My preemie was 7 lbs at 36 weeks.

No morning sickness the first time...ever...unless I overate.

Beautiful Mess said...

I wish I had known about the caffeine before because going without coffee was MISERABLE. I know that's a bit of an over dramatic statement, but that's what I felt like. I had "all day sickness". I got it around 6 weeks and it lasted until 6 months with my daughter off and on. Then went away for a bit but came back when I went on premature labor meds. With Zilla it wasn't so bad, but that might have been because I was too busy with shingles :-| I hope to Goddess you have a STELLAR pregnancy and have NOTHING but wonderful rainbows and sunshine days.
*HUGS*

Jess said...

Morning (really all day) sickness started for me around 6 weeks and let up around 16 weeks...still on and off until 20 weeks. (UGH.) I hope you don't have any at all...plenty of people don't!! Good luck with the ultrasound coming up.

Echloe said...

I never threw up. I read somewhere that you might not puke if you never puke with motion sickness, etc. This is my case. So maybe you will have it easy like me.

I dunno what to say about the caffeine thing. You do what feels fine for you. I however didn't want to risk a miscarriage at any cost so I only occasionally have a decaf coffee. I do miss it. But whatever. That is what feels right for me. And if you can enjoy your coffee guilt free then go for it. And tell Mr. assvice giver to mind his own business.

meandbaby said...

I think your comment to IT Guy is perfection!

Lexie said...

I'm glad everything is good for you, I was getting worried!

Re: Caffiene, I have cut down to one cup a day as well. (which most days was my usual anyway. So I'm just making sure it is my usual.) And you can pry that from my cold, dead hands. A lot of this stuff is like people don't trust women to use their good sense and moderate themselves. They have to say NO caffiene, NO alcohol, etc. as if we can't understand that we need to keep it to a reasonable amount. I don't drink alcohol normally, but as I understand it, one or two glasses of wine a week is not at all bad for the baby. But god forbid you would drink while pregnant in public. The only exception I know of to the moderation rule is smoking and hard, illicit drugs. But that is a given because they are never good for you anyway.

As for morning sickness, I barfed 4 times yesterday. Its a bitch. I had it since 5 weeks. With my twin pregnancy I had morning sickness throughout. I'm hoping this one will ease up at some point. Lots of little meals helps.

battynurse said...

I like your possible come back. Good luck with the coworker. As far as the caffiene goes I agree that most of the studies show problems over 300mg and I looked at all the research and decided that my one can of soda a day was fine.
I hope you get to skip the whole morning sickness thing.

Joni said...

Enjoy your coffee!!! When I get pregnant I certainly intend to...

Selmada said...

Limited caffiene is okay and yeah, the 300mg is the so called current limit. The most recent studies show an increase in miscarrage when you go over that.
And while 300mg is a 'cup' of coffee some places, starbucks is a bit different. A tall contains 279mg. So as long as you dont go bigger than a tall, go for it!

I went totally cautious. I started to wean off coffee before my egg transfer and have none now. I was already such a risk that I didn't want anything more to stress about. But that is just me. Most women I know sitll have a cup of coffee now and again while pregnant. I think the stress about giving it up can be just as bad for some women
The pregnancy sounds like its going really well. I cant wait to read the next update.

Dora said...

Selmada, just checked the Starbux website, and what I order, a tall "Caffè Misto" is listed as 115 mg of caffeine, because it's more than half steamed milk. The list a tall brewed coffee at 260 mg of caffeine. But you would have to drink it black to get that much caffeine.

Thanks for the good wishes. Back at you!

Laura said...

Hi Dora! You enjoy your coffee! As for morning sickness....well, I have been one of the unlucky ones who have had it since about 4 weeks and it continues today (at 32 weeks). Congrats again on the pregnancy. I am just so happy for you!

Shinejil said...

Even in the study Amanda linked to (very interesting, Amanda, thanks!), the increased risk seems very slight for your misto-level intake. I think if someone's at risk for IUGR, then this info could make a huge difference. For some of us at risk for huge-ass babies (myself for one) due to genetics and chowhound tendencies, I think it's less of a concern.

Tell your coworker kindly that you get your advice from your doctor and have it covered. Or tell him where he can stick it.

~Jess said...

Congrats on your pregnancy...I can't get into the caffeine debate because I have never drank coffee (hate the stuff). I know most doctors say that 1 cup a day is fine: I like your future response...might have to use that one.

Good luck!

ICLW

Rose's Daughter said...

I don't see anything wrong with one cup of coffee a day. I personally gave it up because right now it's making me sick just to smell it. But once that goes away, I will be back on my starbucks habit!

My morning sickness started in week 8. Exactly. It was horrible during the first few days when it lasted ALL day. But now, I know that once 11 am rolls around, i am usually ok. But it does seem to return in the evening sometimes!

ICLW

existere said...

I was sick from weeks 4-16, throwing up about 5-8 times a day. GOOD TIMES, let me tell you. It's twins, though, so apparently the m/s can be heavier.

I agree with you about caffeine - many women don't realise that the chocolate they are gulping down has caffeine, yet they judge others.

Good luck dealing with that guy...

Mr. Shelby said...

I hate unsolicited advice, especially while TTC. Hang in there, you know what is best, just go with it.

Mr. Shelby (from iclw)

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

Congrats on your BFP!

I was fortunate not to have morning sickness, so sorry I have no advice.

*ICLW*

S said...

morning sickness with my pregnancy with Janaki started at 7 weeks. I only threw up once. I had nausea all the time and actually gained some weight in the first trimester because I had to eat to keep the nausea at bay. I had BAD flatulence, mwahahaha revenge on the male! that was the progesterone. My boobs were huge and tender. but that got better in trimester 2 as did the nausea.

ok, you're probably not gonna like what I say about caffeine, but although most research says that under 300mg is not harmful, there is new research (sorry too late and too sleepy to back it up with links) that shows that some women react to caffeine differently and its best to go cold turkey to be safe. which is what I did/am doing.

good luck with the scan, when is it again? I reread your post, is it this monday or next?? Mine is on the 5th of may, am shitting bullets. ha! progesterone joke.

good luck matey!!

xx

S said...

p.s. current pg no 6, am 5.5 weeks - or 5.6 weeks in 40 mins =), I have no nausea, I feel very full after meals (unusual, progesterone), dead tired (also progesterone), boobs only slightly tender.

every pg is different?? although MS is a nice reassuring sign. bah!!

Lynn Cameron said...

Four pregnancies (and four healthy baby boys)- never any morning sickness. I was queasy at times and there were foods I absolutely didn't want to eat, but never any full blown morning sickness. Mostly intense exhaustion.

Jill said...

I hate unwanted assvice! Hopefully he'll back off soon!

ICLW

iambrowneyedgirl said...

On the morning sickness, no, I din't have any. A few moments of nausea two or three times, but I haven't thrown up once and I'm almost 31 weeks now.

On the caffeine, I've read the research too and I agree with you. Personally, I was worried about a risk of miscarriage, I spotted a lot during my first tri so I cut caffeine out of my diet and haven't had any since.

ICLW

Parenthood For Me said...

Why is a man giving you advice about anything involving pregnancy?
ICLW

decemberbaby said...

I got morning sickness at 5 1/2 weeks. Suddenly I felt nuseated when I got too hungry, and nauseated when I had eaten one bite too many. I was on drugs for that until about 20 weeks.