Pay it Forward Fridays — Got Embies?

It’s been a while since I did a Pay it Forward Fridays post. About time!

If you’ve been reading for a while, you know how amazing my embryo donation story is. It simply would not have happened without this blog and this community. The gift I have received from Aunt K (Angrycanrn) is so beyond words. I have tried many times here, but I still feel I fail in describing how I feel about it.

But you are all so important to me. Each and every comment means so much. You’ve all helped me keep my sanity during each torturous 2 week wait, supported me after each failed cycle, and are now celebrating with me. My hope is that our story may inspire others with frozen embryos to consider directed donation.

As I’ve said, you are all important to me, but I have a special place in my heart for the single moms by choice and those trying to become one. For most of us, this was not how we originally planned to build our families. Most of us hoped for the typical 2 parent family. We tried. Relationships failed, for whatever reason. Mr. Right didn’t come along in time. As I’ve written in the past, in retrospect, I’m grateful that I didn’t become pregnant with Mr. Wrong. The painful custody issues that my friends and family members go through reinforce those feelings. From this perspective, single moms by choice are often in a better position to give their children a less tumultuous childhood that moms who are single by circumstance.

One unfortunate commonality between many SMCs is that while we looked for the ideal situation, our best fertile years slipped away. It wasn’t easy to give up the dream of my own genetic child, but the dream of motherhood was stronger. When I started investigating embryo donation, I looked into clinic programs. These are anonymous. This didn’t sit well with me. Maybe it’s all the adoptees from closed adoptions that I’ve known, but I didn’t want my child to feel like he/she was created with secrets. In my opinion, embryo donation is such a wonderful thing, it deserves open acknowledgement.

I’ve been so lucky. When one door closed, another opened. When things with one woman with embryos to donate didn’t work out, I wrote about it here. Aunt K read what I wrote and contacted me. Thus began our incredible journey. Her understanding of what I was going through and what I was feeling has been incredible. Even though I was going through my last ditch cycle with my own eggs, she committed to donating her embryos to me. She has been a literal safety net in my life. And here I am, 7 weeks, 4 days pregnant. Thanks to her.

So, where does the Pay it Forward fit in this? Well, I’d like to direct you to a couple of my SMC-wannabe bloggy friends. Princess of Tides at No Yolk and Battynurse at I want to be a mommy. I believe both of them will be wonderful mothers. Princess of Tides is currently in the middle of her last ditch IVF with her eggs and Battynurse is in a holding pattern since her last IVF failed. They have both mentioned being uncomfortable with the idea of anonymous embryo donation, so I would encourage you to read their stories if you are considering some kind of open embryo donation. (BTW, if either of them is uncomfortable with me writing this, I will delete reference to them.) It takes a certain amount of strength and determination to decide to pursue motherhood on your own. These are terrific, loving, strong women who’ve simply hit the brick wall of infertility.

It takes a village, people!

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P.S. On another Pay it Forward note, head over to Kristin’s Etsy shop to benefit The Liz Logelin Foundation. I know it’s an odd time of year to buy hats, but they’re so cute! Buy one and tuck it away for the Fall or as an emergency gift.