Tuesday, September 2, 2008

IVF meltdown - I fucked up!

WARNING: many expletives in this post

I just wasted hundreds of dollars worth of meds. Oh, I envy those of you with pen injectors. I was mixing up my 8 vials and didn't realize the needle was loose. When I was mixing the last vial I suddenly had it all over my hands. The syringe was empty! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Major meltdown. Wailed and sobbed for almost a half hour. Big snotty cry. Ya think I'm hormonal? Nah, my fucking estradiol was at 20 this morning after 5 fucking days of stims! Looking at all those wasted empty vials just freaked me out.

I finally calmed down enough to start over. Got the 8 vials in my belly this time. My head is killing me. I feel like an idiot. If I got this hysterical over this, how the hell am I going to deal with all the other crappy things that can happen? What a joy this will be to tell the clinic about on Thursday.

Have I mentioned lately how much it fucking sucks doing this as a single girl spinster?

7 comments:

calliope said...

oh man. that is major suckage!
& you aren't a spinster until I say so!!
thinking of and rooting for you.

I Believe in Miracles said...

that doesn't sound good at all!! **BIG HUG**

hey - to cheer you up - and because you asked, go check out my nose piercing. http://ibleafnmiracles.blogspot.com/2008/09/because-you-asked.html

**HUGS**

InfertileMadWoman said...

Girl... does this mean that you didn't get the drugs in you at all???

If not... SHIT!!!

Is there anything that you can do about it???

I am so sorry sweetie... I remember mixing, and thank the heavens every day for my pen!!!

Hang in there!!

Rebel

Dora said...

Not from that batch. I had to get out a whole fresh set of vials! You know I am now checking that the needle is secure on the syringe for each vial. I have insurance coverage for this, but I have a $20k lifetime cap for IF treatment. The meds are the most expensive part. My insurance co paid out almost $8k for that big box! I can only hope that the wanding and bloodwork are coded as testing, not treatment. I'm so afraid I won't be able to squeeze a second cycle out of my coverage just because of the meds. If this cycle winds up being cancelled it will be even harder, since I've already used so many $$$ worth of meds.

Dora said...

Thanks for all the support!!

sarah said...

Oh that just sucks! So so sorry. These things happen, and of course you have every right to freak out! That is a lot of money, and HELLO, you are on a TON of hormones right now!

Eva said...

Hang it there. I know it's tough but you can do it.