Mel’s Show and Tell — Consolation Prizes

Late for class, but wanted to add to the cool Show & Tell posts this week.

When my first IVF cycle was cancelled in June I decided to finally get the tattoo I’d been thinking about for a few years. I was hoping an illustrator friend of mine would do a drawing for me, but she was preparing for a show, so was too busy. I emailed my tattoo artist with some images, then called and set up an appointment. (Side note: I’ve known my tattoo artist since he was 10 years old. I dated his older brother when I was a teenager. Can’t help it, I still think of him as the nosy kid who’d poke his head in big bro’s room and ask, “What are you doing?”) He had a drawing ready for me, but I made him rework it a couple of times until I was satisfied. I LOVE IT!

Lots of nebulous reasons for the imagery. The Dickinson poem I quoted in this post sums it up pretty well. Also, this lyric from my favorite Jonathan Larson song:

Cages or wings
Which do you prefer?
Ask the birds
Fear or love, baby?
Don't say the answer
Actions speak louder than words

Click here to hear a sound clip (#12).

My hair almost always covers this tat. It’s sort of my little secret.

Second cancelled cycle I bought this from a cool Etsy seller.

I decided when I bought him that he would be a Pay it Forward Fuck Bunny. I’m not quite ready to give him up yet, but when I am (when I have my “take home baby”?), I’m sure I can find a good home for him within our community. I’m thinking this should be a self nominating prize.

Cancelled cycle number 3. I love Etsy! I found this wonderful jeweler who does custom orders. She made me this beautiful ring. (Sorry the photos aren’t better.)

The ring arrived the day I started stims for number 4. Cycle 4 was cancelled after 7 days of stims due to lack of response.

This time I was done with consolation prizes.

Cycle 5, cysts again.

Now here we are at cycle 6. The last hurrah for my poor beleaguered ovaries. As I’ve mentioned, the plan this time is to continue stims regardless of my response. If I don’t get at least 3 follies, we will do an IUI.

I’m not expecting a miracle. I think I’ve already gotten my share of miracles from my embie donor. Our connection and the feelings we have for each other feels damn miraculous! It’s a strange thing to think that my child is probably already conceived. He or she is waiting to come to me. I can’t wait to meet this wonderful little person!