Monday, November 10, 2008

Mel’s Show and Tell — Consolation Prizes

Late for class, but wanted to add to the cool Show & Tell posts this week.

When my first IVF cycle was cancelled in June I decided to finally get the tattoo I’d been thinking about for a few years. I was hoping an illustrator friend of mine would do a drawing for me, but she was preparing for a show, so was too busy. I emailed my tattoo artist with some images, then called and set up an appointment. (Side note: I’ve known my tattoo artist since he was 10 years old. I dated his older brother when I was a teenager. Can’t help it, I still think of him as the nosy kid who’d poke his head in big bro’s room and ask, “What are you doing?”) He had a drawing ready for me, but I made him rework it a couple of times until I was satisfied. I LOVE IT!

Lots of nebulous reasons for the imagery. The Dickinson poem I quoted in this post sums it up pretty well. Also, this lyric from my favorite Jonathan Larson song:

Cages or wings
Which do you prefer?
Ask the birds
Fear or love, baby?
Don't say the answer
Actions speak louder than words

Click here to hear a sound clip (#12).

My hair almost always covers this tat. It’s sort of my little secret.

Second cancelled cycle I bought this from a cool Etsy seller.

I decided when I bought him that he would be a Pay it Forward Fuck Bunny. I’m not quite ready to give him up yet, but when I am (when I have my “take home baby”?), I’m sure I can find a good home for him within our community. I’m thinking this should be a self nominating prize.

Cancelled cycle number 3. I love Etsy! I found this wonderful jeweler who does custom orders. She made me this beautiful ring. (Sorry the photos aren’t better.)

The ring arrived the day I started stims for number 4. Cycle 4 was cancelled after 7 days of stims due to lack of response.

This time I was done with consolation prizes.

Cycle 5, cysts again.

Now here we are at cycle 6. The last hurrah for my poor beleaguered ovaries. As I’ve mentioned, the plan this time is to continue stims regardless of my response. If I don’t get at least 3 follies, we will do an IUI.

I’m not expecting a miracle. I think I’ve already gotten my share of miracles from my embie donor. Our connection and the feelings we have for each other feels damn miraculous! It’s a strange thing to think that my child is probably already conceived. He or she is waiting to come to me. I can’t wait to meet this wonderful little person!


Anonymous said...

I have a little "good luck" item I would love to share with you. It worked for me.

Don't suppose you would email me your address? If not, I will take a pic of the item and send them to you "virtually".

Good thoughts coming your way.


Anonymous said...

Oh and I love the tat!

I am too much of a wimp to get one.... I've always said that if I did it would be of intertwined US and Canadian flags.

Michelle said...

I love your tat. I have one in a "secret" place too. It is of a dolphin.

Sending you all good thoughts. ((HUGS))

Dora said...

My address!?! That's awfully personal! (Kidding, says the woman who's been telling the world the state of her cervical mucous and her ovaries!) Email coming!

Is it socks??? I really wanted Helen's lucky IVF socks. I got my ex-bf to bid on them for me. He bid $50, but got outbid. Nice gesture, and it raised the bidding.

HereWeGoAJen said...

I love the ring! It is perfect!

Kristin said...

I love your tat and I love your little consolation prizes.

Cara said...

I love that you continually do something for yourself in this process!

And a fuck bunnny? Perfection.

Lucie B said...

Consolation prizes are a wonderful idea! The tattoo and ring are lovely and that bunny is hysterical!

My luck is notoriously bad, but if I have any good luck left I am willing it in your virtual direction!

Baby Smiling In Back Seat said...

Fabulous, all fabulous.

Too bad you got tired of consolation prizes. I wonder what else you would have come up with! said...

Beautiful Tattoo and all the best!

Geohde said...

Can I say how very much I love the pink swear toy?? It is awesome.

Good luck with your cycle,


J said...

Yes...let's make some babies! Whistles!

battynurse said...

I love the tattoo. I've been kind of considering what sort of tattoo I may get at the end of all of this as a "memory" of the journey. I suppose if there is an end of all of this. I love the fuck bunny too. Very funny.