Friday, December 26, 2008

Persona Non Grata … this year

Hope everyone had a good holiday. There’s a lot going on in the ALI blogosphere. Some terrible losses and some positive betas. The rest of us muddling through.

I was reading someone’s post about feeling like a second class citizen at holiday gatherings since she and her husband had no children. I’ve read posts like that before. I’ve seen message board threads about this. Common enough. Single and childless = third class. Extra fun!

I started thinking about next year. If this FET works in January, I will get lots of attention around the holidays. Everyone wants to see a new baybeeeeee! I think I will resent it more than I resent the treatment I get now. The one upside I can think of is that I will get to see my niece more often. My sister doesn’t currently make much of an effort to include me in my niece’s life. So, I’ll take the extra time with my niece, and I’ll gladly accept the baby gifts, but, yeah, I’m going to resent my status change due to childbirth.


Cara said...

Interesting. I guess that just speaks to how our perspective shift isn't a temporary holding place we live in until the "perfect" scenario completes us.

Once we see the world through new eyes, each new experience just overlay THAT perspective.

Oh - Dora - praying for quick positive.

Kristin said...

Dora...I am praying hard you get the present of your dreams VERY SOON!

Michelle said...

I know what you are saying I feel the same way. I hope that 2009 makes all your dreams come true!

Jess said...

I totally relate to this. This Christmas I am "finally doing something with my life" (according to my Aunt) because I am pregnant. Family paid a lot more attention to me this year--I'm no longer just the single girl with nothing going on in her life. That is nice and all, don't get me wrong, but it's a bit hard to swallow because I know it's only because of my huge belly. I would totally resent the special attention, but separate from it I've just been too happy to finally get to live my dream so I haven't focused on the resentment much. I really hope it comes for you very quickly!

Anonymous said...

You know, I thought the same thing before the kids arrived. But I can tell you that I was so ecstatic to just be experiencing their first Christmas (2005) that the resentment I intended to feel was forgotten.

I hope it turns out to be the same way for you!


Shinejil said...

Yeah, it's terrible the way singles get treated at many social occasions, far worse, I think, than folks without kids.

Here's to a very positive January. :)

I Believe in Miracles said...

Ugh! I'm so sorry friend. I see the rawness in this post.