Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Opinions, feedback and advice, please!!

I've drafted an email to my maybe embie donor. So many of you are awesome writers, I would love to get your feedback. I feel like I have to pass a test, and no one's given me the study guide. HELP! Please tell me if there's something you think I should take out or something I should add. Thanks in advance!

**************

Sorry, I'm probably just being paranoid, but I've been feeling funny having this draft online. I SOOOOO appreciate everyone's comments and suggestions. Thank you!!!

3 comments:

Kristin said...

I think its really well written. I honestly wouldn't change a thing.

Cassandra said...

The only question that your letter raises for me is how close to your current apartment you plan to move. You first say that you'd want to move to a bigger place, then you talk about your next-door neighbor. If you move, she may cease to be relevant. I'm not sure if you should take the sentence about her out, or if I'm just nitpicky. Probably the latter.

Hopefully she will find it persuasive!

I Believe in Miracles said...

I'd agree with Cassandra. Great letter.
**HUGS**